Obeys the laws of science
Sick of logical inconsistencies in your universe? Tired of struggling with the economic implications of non-conservation of energy? This dependable wooden rod is guaranteed never to cause nearby objects to violate physical law.
Found in a dungeon. Liberated from a life of being used as a practice wand by evil jerks. It would now be happily enjoying a life of quiet nonmagic serenity now except that it is an inert piece of wood incapable of emotion.